S: "Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good."
O: I'm having difficulty with this one tonight. Perhaps it is because I have no experience in this. It would be my understanding that perhaps the elderwomen of the time, the ones who had been married and maybe now are widowed would teach the younger women how to be a good wife and mother.
Obviously gossiping about others is a big no-no. How easy is it to fall into that trap, though. I'm just as guilty as the next person of that. It's probably just easier to steer clear of gossiping people. And live by the rule "If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, then be quiet". Something I need to learn as well.
Heavy drinkers. Hmmm.... Alcohol can be evil. I know, you're probably wondering how. There's nothing wrong with having a glass of wine with dinner or in a social setting. BUT... start knocking back a few tequilas, Long Island Iced Teas, etc. and look out. We all turn into someone else. Me, I get giggly. But I've also been known to cry hysterically. That's because alcohol can be a depressant. And when you're already depressed, it's not a good mix.
My husband, on the other hand, ohhh..his mouth starts running. And it's not pretty. The sarcasm. The derogatory jokes usually aimed at me. I can't tell you the number of knock-down drag-out fights that had resulted from that. He's not a chronic drunk and it wouldn't be often. But when it he did drink, I really didn't want to be around him.
I believe that's why God tells us it's not a good idea to be heavy drinkers. No good ever came from getting drunk or even just having a "few too many". Look at the number of DWI's that occur as well. How can we expect to be godly people if we are stumbling around filled with alcohol?
My husband has since quit drinking. And you can't imagine what a relief it is to me to not have to worry about what I'm going to come home to on a Friday after I've been working all day. I would go to work with dread in my heart knowing what I would be coming home to. Was he going to get all mouthy and get in another fight with me? I know each day is a struggle for him when it comes to drinking. Life has not been easy. And for someone who is a recovering alcoholic it would be so easy to drown yourself in a ton of booze to forget about life's problems. Lord knows there were days I wished I could've had a few too many glasses of wine to forget about things.
But I digress here. The whole point of this passage is that we should do what would be pleasing to God. We should learn from our elders about love and marriage. Look at couples who have been married 50,60 years or more. What could we learn from them? How did they make it work for so long? It's because they learned from THEIR parents and families. Something we don't really have these days. BUT we have our bible and our faith. If we don't have role models, we can find the BEST role model in the bible--Jesus Christ. Or browse through the Old Testament. There are plenty of good role models there.
If you are fortunate enough to still have your parents or grandparents around and they are still married, talk to them. Find out how they made it work. Learn from them. And spend time in the Word. If you follow that then you're already ahead of the game.
A: I don't have role models for me to follow. My mom has been remarried three times. My grandparents are both deceased. Besides, my grandmothers' advice to me on marriage was that all men cheat. Get a hobby and look the other way. Yup. That was her advice. smh
I have a second chance at getting marriage right. I have to learn from the mistakes that I made in my first marriage. I need to learn from the bible what a good marriage is and how to keep it alive. I read blogs. I pray... A LOT. I know Jesus will help me along the way. I have friends in church. Our pastor and his wife have been married for over 20 years. Obviously they've been doing something right. I just need to take things a step at a time and learn from my mistakes, learn from Jesus and rely on Him to get us through the tough times.
P: Father, You have given us the most wonderful examples of how to be good wives and husbands. Your son, our Savior taught us about pure love. How fortunate we are to have those resources at our fingertips. We have to remember that we are an example for our children. It's so easy to just throw in the towel when things get too hard. But it during those times that we need You most. Rather than turning to alcohol or to divorce or any other evil thing that will break down a marriage, we need to run to You. We need to read through Your words to learn, to be guided in the right direction. We trust in You and know You will show us the right thing to do. Amen.
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