I sit here in the recliner with my dog draped over my legs, a cup of coffee by my side and I reflect upon the week I've had. Saturday's are MY day. I work all week and my husband tries to leave Saturday's as my day to do what I want. I try to wrap up any household chores on Friday night after dinner. It doesn't always happen that way. And some times we have commitments on Saturdays. But today is all quiet. My daughter and her best friend are on their way to welcome home a friend from Afghanistan. There's nothing that can't wait to be done. Hubby is watching "This Old House" on PBS in between dozing off.
I have been browsing Facebook and the many good pages it has for Christians. They are there if you look for them. I also googled the term "Christian Wives" to see where it would lead me. I found some interesting sites and blogs.
You see, I have set about to "clean up my act" so to speak. It's time to put me aside in favor of putting Jesus and my husband at the top of my list. I believe that Jesus is calling me to a higher purpose. I have been working with my pastor on a sermon series on the Book of Job. I began reading Job on my own because I really identified with him. I feel like Job's female counterpart. He had all these trials heaped upon him for no good reason. How many times have I wondered why God is letting me struggle as hard as I am. I try to be good. I go to church. I pray. I study the bible. I am trying to be a godly woman. So why am I struggling? What have I done that I have not repented for?
Those are the same queries that Job's friends asked of him. Surely you must have done SOMETHING to deserve this. If you just fess up and ask for God's forgiveness life will go back to being good. But Job hadn't done anything. He obeyed all of God's laws. It even says in Job 1:1 that Job was an upright, God-fearing man. He shunned evil. So what happened?!
That's the same thing I keep asking myself over and over. Lord, what have I done? Sometimes God lets us go through the bad times for a reason. How else can we learn to appreciate the good times in life? Job also waffled back and forth between blaming God and thanking God. I've done that too. I've had times I didn't want to hear anything about God. He's doing this to me. I am suffering.
My pastor posed this question to me "Who is really suffering?" Gee, thanks Andy. Make my tiny little brain work overtime! lol But isn't that the reason we study the bible? To learn. To grow. To find the answers we seek? To see that there were others who have come before us who had suffered much greater hardships and God saw them through all of it.
I've went through crises in my life that I would not have been able to withstand without my faith in God. There is a line in a song by Casting Crowns that says "I wasn't holding on to you, but you were holding on to me" (Praise You In This Storm). How true. Jesus wasn't willing to let me fall. He took that fall for me. What a gift. Who am I to complain when He withstood crucifixion? He, too, did nothing wrong. But He suffered anyway. So maybe it's not me. It's just life.
We live in a world that doesn't want us talking about God or faith. No wonder it's so hard to just keep going. Satan is alive and well in our world. He is why it's so hard. He keeps throwing bombs at us and tries to break us. It's up to us to not let him win. We are children of the Lord! We need to fight against the earthly world and live as Jesus commanded. "As I have loved you, so must you love one another." (John 15:12) When Jesus hung on the cross He prayed to His Father "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34)
I have been praying, a lot. And I have been getting my answer. In scripture verses, in daily devotionals, in faith-based posts. He keeps telling me to not worry. That He has my back. He isn't making me suffer. He is holding on to me THROUGH my suffering. My faith is once again being tested. How much will it take to separate me from Jesus? Satan really wants to get that foothold on me. The enemy strikes when we are at our weakest.
When you feel at the end of your rope, keep holding on. Jesus will see you through it. You may not think so. You may feel like you're fighting a losing battle. You may want to give up. DON'T!! That's what Satan wants. Fight him off by praying. Fight him off by holding on to Jesus. Cry out to our Father. He's right there. He's not going to let you fall into the hands of the enemy. Let your trials strengthen you. Let your trials deepen your faith. Let your trials pull you closer to Jesus. Take everything one step at a time. One day at a time. Sometimes one hour at a time. And you will emerge from it all stronger, wiser, and better for having gone through it.
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