Time For Change

Hello lovelies! Those of you who read my blog will notice there was a title change. I've decided I want my blog to reflect what I am learning to become. It's not always the easiest of roads. I'm a stubborn person and I get irritated with my husband at times. But I am trying. And I am learning. It is a path that God has set me on. I know that my relationship with my husband is more peace-filled and less arguments take place.

Change is never easy. It has been studied that it takes 30 days to form a new habit. And I believe a lifetime to "unlearn" all the bad things we pick up over time. Yet, without change, our lives will become stagnant. We become stagnant. So, here I sit, reflecting on all my bad habits and deciding it is time for a change.

Something dawned on me late this afternoon. I may be finally learning about how this whole "godly wife thing" is supposed to work! It was a post I was responding to on a page about a woman who had just had an argument with her husband, yet again, about housework. Here's the post (I'm keeping the name out as I don't have her explicit permission to use it.) 

"Our anniversary is in 7 days.... And I'm not feeling very loving at the moment. Just had a huge fight and I'm honestly just tired of doing everything for him- even when I need rest (had a migraine and back issues and I was still doing everything for him and our son). I'm not a happy wife at the moment, and it's as though I'm supposed to do everything to keep us happy, when its a two way street and he should be trying too."  

Here was my reply: "As hard as it may seem, as wives we are called to sacrifice and service. I know it's not easy. Believe me, I've had my share of grumbling. I work full-time and my husband is out of work. He hadn't been helping a lot around the house. I felt like it was all on me. But, I am trying to be the godly wife and do the right thing. The last thing any man wants is to be nagged. Try sitting down with him and explain how you feel. Sometimes it's just a lack of communication and understanding. Maybe try telling him that when you don't feel good you'd like for him to pitch in a little. And I agree with you 100%. A happy marriage is NOT a one-way street. It takes two to make any marriage work. I hope this helps some. God bless." 

Being a "godly wife" isn't always the easiest thing. And for someone like me, who can be just as stubborn as my husband, we've butted heads over everything. After a while, fighting over stupid things that I have no control over is just a huge waste of time. And my husband, like most husbands, will eventually just tune us out. Our complaints go in one ear and out the other. It took a drastic event for things to change.

As hard as it was to pick up the pieces afterwards, it was worth it. He still doesn't help with a lot of the housework, but when he does, it's a huge relief to me. I've learned that it's ok to let things go. I am only human and can only do so much. I know that if I ask nicely, that sometimes it's easier to get him to help.

Men are not mind readers. They may see we're annoyed but have no clue as to WHAT we're annoyed about. If I'm out in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner, chances are my husband, who is on the sofa with the tv and computer on, will not going to know that I'm upset over anything. 

I'm just as much to blame. I keep everything in until it just takes one little thing to set me off. Then look out. I will go off like Vesuvius! That's not healthy. It's so much easier to just sit down and talk to my husband about the things that are bothering me and asking him to just help me out a little. After all, we both live in this house. We both make a mess. 

It's not just the housework, though. Sometimes it starts as that but the root is something deeper. I try to say my prayers at night before I lay my head down to sleep. I sit in the quiet darkness of my room and pour out my soul to our Father. Sometimes it's just a simple "Father help me." Other times it's more of a conversation. I leave my issues with God and let Him deal with them. This is not to say that I just dump all my problems on God then wake up in the morning without a care. Nope. It doesn't work that way and it's not always just that simple. But it's a start. And we all have to start somewhere. 

So, 30 days to form a new habit. Complain less. Leave it with God. Remember that my job is to serve and sometimes that involves sacrifice. No one said it would be easy. But God did promise us that it would be worth it. 

God Bless.
Linda. 

Here's a blog entry on the topic I just mentioned..nagging. Check them out.

"There's a snag in my nag"
http://www.girlfriendsingod.com/2014/theres-a-snag-in-my-nag-2/

Today’s Truth
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife (Proverbs 21:19).