Submission God's Way

I swear, sometimes God's timing comes at the worst times. As I'm driving home, I get a sort of revelation. And this always happens. When I don't have the time to write about it. Well, I'm going to make the time because this is important. And God is prompting me to tell the WHOLE story. Not just pieces.

Let me give you some background so you can better understand where I am coming from. Many years ago, before I met my husband, I was involved with a gentleman who introduced me to a whole different lifestyle. One of Dominance and submission. I was learning about becoming a submissive and all it entailed. At that time, I felt like I had found a part of me that was missing. I am a natural born people-pleaser. I want people to like me. I want to always help. When I was a stay-at-home mom, I was pretty happy. I was doing the "mom thing" and taking care of everything. I wanted my home to be like Martha Stewart! 

So this was not a huge stretch for me. The only drawback was that he lived in New Jersey and I lived in upstate NY. He wouldn't travel to come see me. And I couldn't go down there. (I was married to my first husband at the time and neither of us were faithful to the other at that point. Yes, I know that 2 wrongs don't make a right. By that time our marriage had completely broken down.)

It takes A LOT of discipline to do something like that. We made it work for over two years through text messages and phone calls. At that point in my life, it worked for me and it worked for him. You don't have someone watching you, making sure you're doing everything you are asked to do. You are being held on your honor that you are doing what you are supposed to, that you are living within the rules that your master has set about for you. I thrived with that kind of relationship. I didn't have to think, plan, manage. Nothing. Just to obey and be good. (And if you know me, you know that for me that could be difficult at times!!)

How I had longed to be like the others who were "owned", those who were "slaves" with loving masters. I wanted to work hard so I would earn my "collar". When it all fell apart, so did I. There went my dream of being an owned and collared slave. 

However, after I met my second husband I had to choose...him or the lifestyle. How do you give up part of yourself? But here was this man who was REAL. He was with me night and day. He loved me. Obviously, in the end, I chose my husband. Looking back on that relationship, I believe that God used it as a lesson.

I asked my husband to at least TRY to learn to be a Dominant. He had the personality of one. He had all the traits I was looking for in a new master. So we tried a few times with Dominant/submissive thing, but it always ended in disaster. It ended with me being unhappy and feeling taken advantage of. What were we doing wrong?

We weren't doing anything wrong, it's just not what God had intended. At least not in that form. The bible clearly states that the woman is to be submissive to her husband. (Ephesians 5:22; Colossians 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1-22; and many others.) Aha! There was the answer! It only took me 3 long years of trial and error, of failing miserably, to finally understand what it was that God intended for me to do.

He indeed wanted me to be submissive. But to my husband. In the biblical sense. Oh boy. After all the things my husband and I had been through, I would have to trust him enough to lead me. And trust in the fact that he was being led by God. I'm not big on trust. I've been burned too many times before. It takes a HUGE leap of faith (yes, faith!) to trust someone. When we believe in God, in Jesus and the Holy Spirit, are we not called to trust? It is called faith for a reason. But it's easy to trust God. Not so with people.

Ok, so we're not quite there yet. We are still a work in progress. But it's God's work. He is slowly changing both of us to be His. And that is what's so amazing. Here I was wanting to be owned and loved and wanted and I didn't even realize that I already was all of that and more!

I am owned and loved by the Supreme Master. The Utmost Sir. Jesus Christ. I have been bought and paid for through the blood of Jesus. When He hung on that cross, all had been forgiven. He paid the ultimate price for me. Wow. What a revelation!

My husband and I are in different seasons of our walk of faith. And that's ok. The bible also says that the wife will lead by example. "Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives." (1 Peter 3:1) 

I still have my rules that I must follow. They're in this big book that I take with me. It's called The Bible. There I can find any answer, any rule, any guidance that I may need. With Jesus as my Master, I can't go wrong. He won't lead me into where I don't belong.

Yeah..where I don't belong... Satan tried that on me. He made sure he poked me and prodded me. "See what you are missing?" "See..this is what you wanted..." "You can't be happy unless you have this life." He spent the whole weekend doing that. 

Ohhh.... I am so mad! I'm mad at myself for falling into that trap. The devil always will attack at our weakest points. I've been so stressed out about all our problems that I LET myself be dragged into those thoughts. Going to work today, it got me away from those thoughts. I got back into the swing of things. I did all my devotionals, I read, I prayed. And Jesus rewarded me with this revelation. "See, My child, I have given you all you wanted and more. There are so many other ways to serve. But first you need to learn to serve Me." I can not be submissive to my husband without first submitting to Christ. He will lead me and train me to serve Him. Only then will He permit me to learn to serve my husband. 

And with that, my husband is calling...dinner is done. (He likes to do all the cooking.) So, my friends, I will leave you with this. A little slice of who I once was and who I am becoming. 

Much Love & God Bless.

What Is A Proverbs 31 Woman?

I just realized that some of you may not know what a Proverbs 31 woman is. As I was scrolling through Tumblr, I found some really good explanations, so I thought I'd post them here. Also, you can just open your bibles to Proverbs 31 for a complete rundown of who she is. This first one I found is a really great breakdown of what it is we strive to become according to God's great plan for us.

10 Virtues of the Proverbs 31 Woman

1. Faith - A Virtuous Woman serves God with all of her heart, mind, and soul. She seeks His will for her life and follows His ways. (Proverbs 31: 26, Proverbs 31: 29 – 31, Matthew 22: 37, John 14: 15, Psalm 119: 15

2. Marriage – A Virtuous Woman respects her husband. She does him good all the days of her life. She is trustworthy and a helpmeet. (Proverbs 31: 11- 12, Proverbs 31: 23, Proverbs 31: 28, 1 Peter 3, Ephesians 5, Genesis2: 18)

3. Mothering - A Virtuous Woman teaches her children the ways of her Father in heaven. She nurtures her children with the love of Christ, disciplines them with care and wisdom, and trains them in the way they should go. (Proverbs 31: 28, Proverbs 31: 26, Proverbs 22: 6, Deuteronomy 6, Luke 18: 16)

4. Health – A Virtuous Woman cares for her body. She prepares healthy food for her family. (Proverbs 31: 14 – 15, Proverbs 31: 17, 1 Corinthians 6: 19, Genesis 1: 29, Daniel 1, Leviticus 11)

5. Service - A Virtuous Woman serves her husband, her family, her friends, and her neighbors with a gentle and loving spirit. She is charitable. (Proverbs 31: 12, Proverbs 31: 15, Proverbs 31: 20, 1 Corinthians 13: 13)

6. Finances - A Virtuous Woman seeks her husband’s approval before making purchases and spends money wisely. She is careful to purchase quality items which her family needs. (Proverbs 31: 14, Proverbs 31: 16, Proverbs 31: 18, 1 Timothy 6: 10, Ephesians 5: 23, Deuteronomy 14: 22, Numbers 18: 26)

7. Industry – A Virtuous Woman works willingly with her hands. She sings praises to God and does not grumble while completing her tasks. (Proverbs 31: 13, Proverbs 31: 16, Proverbs 31: 24, Proverbs 31: 31, Philippians 2: 14)

8. Homemaking – A Virtuous Woman is a homemaker. She creates an inviting atmosphere of warmth and love for her family and guests. She uses hospitality to minister to those around her. (Proverbs 31: 15, Proverbs 31: 20 – 22, Proverbs 31: 27, Titus 2: 5, 1 Peter 4: 9, Hebrews 13: 2)

9. Time - A Virtuous Woman uses her time wisely. She works diligently to complete her daily tasks. She does not spend time dwelling on those things that do not please the Lord. (Proverbs 31: 13, Proverbs 31: 19, Proverbs 31: 27, Ecclesiastes 3, Proverbs 16: 9, Philippians 4:8 )

10. Beauty – A Virtuous Woman is a woman of worth and beauty. She has the inner beauty that only comes from Christ. She uses her creativity and sense of style to create beauty in her life and the lives of her loved ones. (Proverbs 31: 10Proverbs 31: 21 – 22, Proverbs 31: 24 -25, Isaiah 61: 10, 1 Timothy 2: 9, 1 Peter 3: 1 – 6)

I am also going to include my little rant. So please bear with me.

Why is it that a woman who fears God, wants to serve her family and basically be the woman that God designed us to be is looked upon as such a bad thing? Have you looked at the complete description of what a Proverbs 31 woman is!?!?!?!! She is called to be strong, resourceful, a wage earner, provider for her family to name just a few. 

If we actually completed HALF of what's on that list in one day, we'd be exhausted!! She is basically the one running the show for her family! It takes a strong woman to be all that!!

If I can even become one-tenth of what a Proverbs 31 woman is I'd be happy. Sure does give a gal something to strive for.

Striving to be a Proverbs 31 Woman

I think this is something that every Godly woman should strive to be. A Proverbs 31 woman brings good not harm every day of her life, sets about her work vigorously, she opens her arms to the poor.
She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
(Posted by Madelyn-Eloise "Fearfully and Wonderfully Made" on Tumblr)